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Parents Are too Permissive with Their Children Nowadays(父母過(guò)于嬌縱孩子)
Parents Are too Permissive with Their Children NowadaysThe child' s happiness is al I-important, the psychologists say, but what about the parents' happiness? Parents suffer constantly from fear and guilt while their children gaily romp about pulling the place apart. A good old-fashioned spanking is out of the question: no modern child-rearing manual would permit such barbarity. The trouble is you are not allowed even to shout. Who knows what dccp psychological wounds you might inflict? Certainly a child needs love, and a lot of it. But the excessive permissiveness of modern parents is surely doing more harm than good.
Lax authority over the years makes adolescent rebellion against parents all the more violent. If the young people are going to have a party, for instance, parents are asked to leave the house. Their presence merely spoils the fun. What else can the poor parents do but obey?
Children are hardy creatures (far hardier than the psychologists would have us believe) and most of them survive the harmful influence of extreme permissiveness which is the normal condition in the modern household. But a great many do not. The spread of juvenile delinquency in our own age is
largely due to parental laxity.
The psychologists have much to answer for. They should keep their mouths shut and let parents get on with the job.And if children are knocked about a little bit in the process, it may not really matter too much. At least this will help them to develop vigorous views of their own and give them something positive to react against. Perhaps there's some truth in the idea that children who' ve had an excess of happiness in their childhood fail to make a success of life.
父母過(guò)于嬌縱孩子
心理學(xué)家們說(shuō)孩子的幸福是至關(guān)重要的，那么，父母?jìng)兊男腋Ｓ秩绾文?當(dāng)孩子們歡蹦亂跳地嬉戲玩耍把家里鬧個(gè)底兒朝天時(shí)，他們的父母卻忍受著擔(dān)心和負(fù)疚的折磨。要想像前人一樣狠狠地揍他一頓屁股是根本不可能的了，因?yàn)楝F(xiàn)代育兒指南絕不會(huì)允許這種野蠻行徑。麻煩的是，甚至連大聲吼他一頓也不可以。誰(shuí)能說(shuō)清你這一吼會(huì)給孩子造成多么深的心靈創(chuàng)傷呢?誠(chéng)然，孩子們需要愛(ài)，許許多多的愛(ài)，但是現(xiàn)代父母過(guò)度的嬌縱絕對(duì)是弊大于利。
多年來(lái)父母的權(quán)威松懈，年少的孩子們的反抗則愈加強(qiáng)烈了。舉個(gè)例子說(shuō)吧，當(dāng)年輕人聚會(huì)時(shí)，父母便被要求離開(kāi)家，因?yàn)樗麄冊(cè)趫?chǎng)只會(huì)掃了大家的玩興。這些可憐的父母?jìng)兂斯怨缘芈?tīng)從還能做什么呢?
孩子是一種強(qiáng)壯的生物，遠(yuǎn)比心理學(xué)家告訴我們的要強(qiáng)壯。過(guò)度嬌縱孩子已經(jīng)成為現(xiàn)代家庭中一種很普遍的現(xiàn)象，而大多數(shù)孩子能克服其不良影響而成長(zhǎng)起來(lái)。但是也有相當(dāng)數(shù)量的孩子未曾幸免。當(dāng)今社會(huì)，青少年犯罪問(wèn)題的日益嚴(yán)峻，在相當(dāng)大的程度上正是由于父母管教不力所致。
心理學(xué)家應(yīng)當(dāng)對(duì)此負(fù)相當(dāng)大的責(zé)任。他們應(yīng)當(dāng)閉上嘴巴，讓父母?jìng)冏灾鞯毓芙毯⒆�。如果在這個(gè)過(guò)程中，父母對(duì)孩子稍微粗暴了一點(diǎn)，那其實(shí)也沒(méi)有什么大不了。至少，這有助于他們培養(yǎng)自己堅(jiān)定的主張，并給他們提供對(duì)具體事情做出反應(yīng)的機(jī)會(huì)。有一種觀點(diǎn)認(rèn)為，在孩童時(shí)代享受過(guò)多幸福的孩子，創(chuàng)造不出成功的人生。此話或許不無(wú)道理。
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